friends
Our Family Annual Report 2008/ The Cheap Christmas Card
OUR YEAR OF 2008 AS COMPARED TO THE XXIX OLYMPIAD
This year was a series of trials, sort of like the Olympics, but with less Chinese food and more Southern accents.
We had our technical challenges, beginning with Linda choosing to defect from Samsung to the BlackBerry team. There was a moment when she was wooed by a competitor, but even with its snazzy looking stylus she still couldn’t cope with the Microsoftness of it. She battled the internet to create a website for her new venture, scratch and maintain her own site.
More techical hi-jinx took center ring …
When you don't know what to give for Christmas.
Give a dick to a dick.
Give something raunchy to a prude.
Give something unexpectedly funny to someone who needs a laugh.
First there was this. and then, there was THIS
Last year, I made this. which led to this year’s duo: this
and still to be revealed: black santa before and after
Sure, I have a few more ornament ideas up my sleeve, don’t worry.
Every year the ladies ask me where do you get all those tiny penises, and when are you going to start up your own p-ornament making business?
Because they all know at least one …
Ho. Ho. Hammacher Schlemmer. Ho.
You can’t say it without smiling, and you can’t say it properly after a few Friday afternoon cocktails. (I know, but it’s Friday afternoon somewhere, and besides it sounded much better than Thursday morning tequila shots.)
Scanning through this classic Christmas catalog that claims:
Offering the Best, the Only and the Unexpected for 160 years
I found lots of potential gifts for my friends and family from a fish finding watch, a hands free video camera, a voice controlled ipod controller and a perfect martini maker to this bug vacuum.
If we still had little ones to buy for I …
Bloggin' Like A Mother!
Last weekend I attended the Decatur Book Festival. For all the crazy fun and wonderfulness that weekend brought, you’d think I’d have a few pictures. I do. And something to say.
Of course I do.
Let’s start here- with BLOGGERS!
This is Kristen Chase of Motherhood Uncensored and Mir Kamin of Woulda Coulda Shoulda.
See how pretty they are? See how happy they look? You would never guess one was recuperating from her own fun-filled evening battling food poisoning and the other is about to give birth- any minute now.
Go read their blogs. Buy their book.Say thank …
Dragon*Con Atlanta 2008 Secret
SHHHH. This is the secret.
You can have just as good a time for FREE at Dragon*Con.
Skip the line and pretend you know where you’re going. Head for the elevator.
then do what we did. Drink at all the lobby bars, ride the glass elevators and stroll the lobbies of 4 hotels, taking pictures like this:
Convince new friends to Play the “stranger in the picture” game 
and laugh knowing all kinds of people will go home unable to answer the question, “Who’s that blonde?”
Meet some crazy girls. Insult one by saying you love her gown, that you’d …
Porchin' it rhymes with fortunate. Unless you want a Bloody Mary.
Ah. The view from this wide wraparound porch off the B&B was tough to leave.
Especially on a Sunday, when the town below doesn’t start serving beer or wine until 12:30 and won’t break out the hard liquor all day.
Gotta love those Baptists.
We managed to get along anyway, having drowned our potential hangovers in a four and a half foot deep hot tub at 2 AM until dark o’thirty. Girlfriends are great travel companions.
We wandered around the town seeing folk art like this
then sat in a cool stone house to hear people like this
talk about …
Porchin’ it rhymes with fortunate. Unless you want a Bloody Mary.
Ah. The view from this wide wraparound porch off the B&B was tough to leave.
Especially on a Sunday, when the town below doesn’t start serving beer or wine until 12:30 and won’t break out the hard liquor all day.
Gotta love those Baptists.
We managed to get along anyway, having drowned our potential hangovers in a four and a half foot deep hot tub at 2 AM until dark o’thirty. Girlfriends are great travel companions.
We wandered around the town seeing folk art like this
then sat in a cool stone house to hear people like thistalk about …
Mr. Follett makes the sexy time.
My book reading pace slowed when my friend Karen lent me this book.
It is a long one, and while interesting, I could have cut at least 50 pages out of the front section, at least another 50- 100 in the middle, and geez, what’s with the ADVERBS, Ken?
But dang, do I want William to DIE. At the hand of a woman. oh yeah.
And my my, Mr. Follett, you do write the LOVE scenes. I’ll never bath in a creek the same again. ( I know why Oprah liked this.)
Trying to finish it today so I can …
Hey, the nose thing- totally HER idea.
I wanted to buy her a tattoo- but she has commitment issues.
After yesterday/last night, I can add at least one more name to the PLACESI’VEBEENKICKEDOUTOF list. And this time- I swear- totally NOT my fault.…
And there is always more.
We walked the streets of NY, but not like that. I mean, had we done THAT I wouldn’t be broke right now.
we drank at fancy places
we ate at not so fancy places
We listened to icons tell the truth about their nude modeling careers
Later, I wondered if my manuscript was carpeting the floor of one of these offices.
But most of all, we were invigorated by the city, by the people we met, the things we opened ourselves up to experience. I am only disappointed that I didn’t have more time- because if I had, I would …
