writer

funny

Let’s talk about food and state fairs.

State Fairs last a lifetime.
Also posted in games, Uncategorized, writers

Isn’t it ironic?

Isn’t it ironic?

Betty Lou Lynn, the woman who portrayed Thelma Lou, on The Andy Griffith Show moved to Mount Airy, NC  ( the town that inspired Mayberry) to avoid crime of big cities.

Last week, she had her wallet stolen in a local shopping center.

Police arrested Shirley Walter Guynn, of Cana, Va.

I find it doubly ironic that the dude’s name is Shirley.…

Also posted in news, question, TV, weird

Let's talk books. And book covers.

For as many of my author friends who are ecstatic about the way their book covers turned out.. there must be someone in the wings feeling a bit put out.

Have you seen this story? Got to agree with the author on that one.
And then there’s this one: Yikes.

There is even a contest for the worst covers. Here’s the 2005 finalists.

Some bad book covers I found are funny because they’re out dated: like these
and some I have to say I like, you know, for the art.

Also posted in books, writers

You can censor me but you can't shut me down. Just ask my husband.

So, I went to a party. No news there.

I took pictures. No news there.
I let people draw on me. No news there.
I posted a picture of the drawing on Facebook. No news there.

Until… a few hours later when FB gave me a warning, then pulled it.

So, I’m posting the picture here.
No news there.
My new best friend, Kathleen drew that lovely anatomically correct body part, though some of the guys thought it a bit stubby and stubbly. My arm was the guinea pig for her art, as she boasted it was her forte’ in

Also posted in beer, dance, friends, music, party, water

A funny, from McSweeney's

I’ve written a few of these McSweeney-like lists, even had a few published. Dooce linked to one on her Twitter today. ( which is going to read like Portuguese to my mother) but here, I offer you two more.


What Could Have Been.

BY COLIN PERKINS

- – - -

The Life My Mother Planned for Me

A+

NYU

Ph.D.

HMO

IRA


The Life I Planned for Me

NFL

L.A.

ESPN

MVP

VIP

Double D

USA! USA! USA!


The Life I’m Living

ADD

GED

DUI

IHOP

SOB

WTF

Tenth-Graders’
Favorite Suggestive
Terms From Geometry.

BY MARK AMUNDSEN

sextant

strip group

Also posted in kids, school

Soon to be a Major Motion Picture

Man accused of drunken horse riding in snowstorm.

CODY, Wyo. – A man has been cited for public intoxication while riding a white horse during a snowstorm in the northern Wyoming town of Cody.

Police say they cited 28-year-old Benjamin Daniels after they received a call Sunday afternoon from a motorist concerned that a man was creating a road hazard by riding his horse on a street in conditions with poor visibility.

Cody Assistant Police Chief George Menig says officers noticed Daniels was intoxicated after they stopped him to explain that drivers were having

Also posted in news, travel

Saying Goodbye to a Comedic Dynasty.

You’ve all seen them. The wild and sometimes disturbing t-shirts of T-Shirt Hell. My confession? I find even the creepy ones quite smart.

Well, it will be over soon. here’s a message from the owner/creator:


I’m done. I’m finished. I can’t take the stupidity anymore, so I’m leaving and I’m taking my website with me. As of Tuesday, Feb 10, 2009, T-Shirt Hell will be no more.

No, I’m not selling out to some douchebag corporate entity. No, we’re not being sued by any of the over 40 companies that have sent us cease and desists over the years. No,

Also posted in fashion, gross

Compliments of my 14 year old son

It’s true.
Every fortune cookie saying automatically becomes funnier if you add these 3 words: IN THE BED.
try it.

A closed mouth gathers no feet. in the bed

He who throws dirt is losing ground. in the bed

You can always find happiness at work on Friday. in the bed

Do not mistake temptation for opportunity. in the bed

A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition. in the bed

The greatest danger could be your stupidity. in the bed

He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at. in the bed

Also posted in kids

It was a dark and stormy night.

Top dishonors in writing go to Washington man

SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) — A grotesque comparison of a steamy love affair to a New York City street has won a Washington man this year’s grand prize in an annual contest of bad writing.

Garrison Spik, a 41-year-old communications director and writer, took top honors in San Jose State University’s 26th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest with this opening sentence to a nonexistent novel:

“Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion

Why do you blog?

It‘s not bad enough that we judge ourselves every time we look in a mirror, see ourselves in a photo, hear our out-going message on the voicemail… now we have opened ourselves up to a blogosphere that may not accept us.
They don’t understand, we whine. They didn’t get the joke. I stink at this. Who reads this shit anyway? Why does it matter? What am I supposed to say?
Why do I have so many hits and so few comments? Who did I offend now?
I hear all of this from new bloggers and sometimes from people who

Also posted in weird

Copyright 2011 Linda Sands
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