Top dishonors in writing go to Washington man
SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) — A grotesque comparison of a steamy love affair to a New York City street has won a Washington man this year’s grand prize in an annual contest of bad writing.
Garrison Spik, a 41-year-old communications director and writer, took top honors in San Jose State University’s 26th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest with this opening sentence to a nonexistent novel:
“Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion
It‘s not bad enough that we judge ourselves every time we look in a mirror, see ourselves in a photo, hear our out-going message on the voicemail… now we have opened ourselves up to a blogosphere that may not accept us.
They don’t understand, we whine. They didn’t get the joke. I stink at this. Who reads this shit anyway? Why does it matter? What am I supposed to say? Why do I have so many hits and so few comments? Who did I offend now?
I hear all of this from new bloggers and sometimes from people who …
Now That I’ve Learned About Foreshadowing, I’m Going To Use It In All Of My Storie
By John Grisham
June 4, 2008 | Issue 44•23
Guess what? There is this really neat literary device I just learned about, and it’s called “foreshadowing.” It’s this thing where, in the beginning of the story, you put in all these little “hints” about stuff that’s going to happen later on. I can’t wait to try it out!
I think the best part about foreshadowing is that it doesn’t come right out and tell everyone what’s going to happen. Instead, it does this thing …
A hackneyed, masturbatory miscarriage of a story.
You have managed to coldly and persistently rape the English language for 17 pages. Congratulations.
The fact that this story exists is the ultimate argument against Creationism.
Your embarrassingly ineffectual and flaccid prose made me feel uncomfortable.
This smugly written tripe is an affront to the craft of writing and fails to meet even the most generous definition of adequacy.
Truly abysmal. Maybe singularly so.
You had some nice details.…
Since our lives are put on hold because of snow in Georgia, I had to amuse myself with whatever was available. In this case, the Suave Professionals Shampoo bottle.
Apparently the makers of my shampoo know I need guidance.
(direct bottle quote)
Every Mom can ride the bus to beautiful.
Instructions: Get kids safely to school,retreat to shower, lather and rinse. Repeat, because when was the last time you dared to do that?
For best results, use with Suave Humectant Conditioner and a scandalous night out with the love interest.
And while you’re at it, do something else just for …
