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A Shitty Start

She thought she had it all planned out, Christmas and New Year’s: the arrival of the mother in law, the evenings with the children, the fancy night out, even the day spa and shopping spree. But there was something that eluded her, something she had no control over- something that snuck up from behind so to speak. Only days after surviving her own internal combustion issues, she was forced to deal with a sewage line that seemed similarly backed up. Plunging, praying and scooping didn’t fix it. Children were questioned, motives analyzed as the water spilled and leaked onto tile …

Also posted in house

Why I make lunches everyday.

Two Lists of Complaints. BY STUART ZEHNER

- – - -

1.

Complaints
My Middle-School Students

in Korea Had About Our

School’s Food.

“The rice is cold.”

“The kimchi is dry.”


2.

Complaints
American Middle-School
Students Would Have If
They Were Served
Korean Food.

“There’s an entire fish in my soup.”

“The fish in my soup still has eyes.”

“The fish in my soup with eyes is full of fish eggs.”

“What is this?”

“They made me eat off a metal tray with chopsticks.”

“I was served a vertebra.”

“This salad is clearly made from the bush in the front

Also posted in eating

HUGE bananas and Pawtucket

A.
“Mom, do you think they’d let me wear that pink shirt to school?”
“Sure, why not?”
( me thinking: because it’s pink?)
“Well,because of what it says.”
( I read shirt: Pawtucket)
“Um, what do you think?”
“Well, it sounds a little naughty in one way… I don’t know.”
(me thinking how I love my 13 year old son saying ‘a little naughty’ and the fact that he thinks Pawtucket is a bad thing.)
“Nah, you’re okay. Tell them I said so.”
(I drop the butter knife on my toe)
“Aw- PAWTUCKET!”

B.
9 year old girl to …

Copyright 2011 Linda Sands
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