Linda Sands » ads

I am SO GOOD, that three years later, I can still annoy you.

Linda — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 16:50:00 +0000

You can bow and chant that you are not worthy.
And I’ll blush and Aw- shucks you while kicking up dust….
but seriously?
I think it is FANTASTIC that I can continue to piss people off about something that I wrote way back when…
Here’s the original post and comments

Note the latest comments as like- last week, and totally off the mark. C’mon people? if you want to rant, at least get it straight what you’re ranting about. Haven’t I taught you anything?
Geesch.
Funny how I get a whole bunch of hits from employees at that unmentioned company –daily, as well as a whole bunch of nervous insurance switchers using the key words, sucks, stinks, crappy, worst, awful, bad news, and dude, for real?!?

Let's talk books. And book covers.

Linda — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 13:57:00 +0000

For as many of my author friends who are ecstatic about the way their book covers turned out.. there must be someone in the wings feeling a bit put out.

Have you seen this story? Got to agree with the author on that one.
And then there’s this one: Yikes.

There is even a contest for the worst covers. Here’s the 2005 finalists.

Some bad book covers I found are funny because they’re out dated: like these
and some I have to say I like, you know, for the art.

…

Saying Goodbye to a Comedic Dynasty.

Linda — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 11:55:00 +0000

You’ve all seen them. The wild and sometimes disturbing t-shirts of T-Shirt Hell. My confession? I find even the creepy ones quite smart.

Well, it will be over soon. here’s a message from the owner/creator:

I’m done. I’m finished. I can’t take the stupidity anymore, so I’m leaving and I’m taking my website with me. As of Tuesday, Feb 10, 2009, T-Shirt Hell will be no more.

No, I’m not selling out to some douchebag corporate entity. No, we’re not being sued by any of the over 40 companies that have sent us cease and desists over the years. No, I’m not going to jail (yet) and no, it’s not because of the economy. Although, the recent dip in sales certainly does make the idea easier to accept, even though we still sell over 3000 shirts a week.

I started this company in June of 2001, nearly 8 years ago, with the intention of producing the best satirical, the most controversial, the funniest t-shirts on the internet. Generally speaking, I feel I’ve accomplished that and am satisfied with what we’ve put out. I made a shitload of dough along the way. I’ve done cocaine off the better body parts of supermodels. I’ve even raped and killed a mountain panda in the hills of Shaanxi. But these perks are besides the point.

I just don’t feel like dealing with idiots anymore.

Wow. I would love to be able to say that… just the last part I mean.

Here’s some of the shirts this company is famous for-

and even more here.with a WARNING or two.

My birthday’s in March.

When a sleep aid cure is worse than not sleeping.

Linda — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 16:25:00 +0000

Serious side effects of AMBIEN include:

getting out of bed while not being fully awake and do an activity that you do not know you are doing. e.g., preparing and eating food, making phone calls, or having sex have been reported in patients who are not fully awake after taking a sedative-hypnotic. As with “sleep-driving”, patients usually do not remember these events.
abnormal thoughts and behavior. Symptoms include more outgoing or aggressive behavior than normal, confusion, agitation, hallucinations, worsening of depression, and suicidal thoughts or actions. Visual and auditory hallucinations have been reported as well as behavioral changes such as bizarre behavior, agitation and depersonalization
memory loss
anxiety
severe allergic reactions. Symptoms include swelling of the tongue or throat, trouble breathing, nausea and vomiting.

Holy crap. Insomnia might not be looking so bad for some folks. I have been lucky enough to never suffer from the inability to sleep. In my youth, I used non-sleeping as a way to get more done. Apparently, it is not the case for all folks.

Anastasia wants to come to America and kill somebody.

Linda — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 12:12:00 +0000

Probably her new husband.
We all get those odd spam emails from foreign countries. They want to give us money, they want us to give them money They want to be pen pals. they want to help us save money on penis enhancing pills that we don’t even take. They want us to support wars, heal the sick and generally behave as if we are much more godly than you and I know to be true.
But this morning I had to laugh- an email from foxracer yielded this information:

Hello man my new friend!
I understand, that you do not know me and I do not know you, but probably in the future all can change. All good always occurs in the future and I ask a few patience from you to read my letter up to the end… . My name is Anastasia and to me it will be very pleasant, if you will name me so. Was born 34 years ago and all this time I live in Russia, in city of Kirov. … life goes in regular intervals and every day is similar on previous. … For all my life I could not meet the man to which I could trust completely and with which I would like to connect my
life, but very much I want.
Several days ago I laid at home on a sofa and thought. Why I am lonely? Why I cannot find my special the man?… Also I have thought. Why to not try to get acquainted with the man from other country if I could not find my special man here in Russia? Now we live in 21 century and I
know, that many people use the Internet … I do not want to be lonely during my life or simply to sit and wait, when my love will come to me.

…and she goes on, though my mind drifts to yesterday’s local headline about immigrants being responsible for increase in crime, which led some idiot to conclude the immigrants need some sort of tutoring when they move to the US so that they will understand the rules…wtf? like a USA handbook at every border?

…but the kicker is this picture of lovely ANASTASIA:It looks like she is hiding a blade or an icepick, that any minute- after the ceremony, after the joint bank account has been opened- after the fake pregnancy has been announced- she’s going to rip off her wig and stab Mr. American Man Her New Friend.

Lysol: How to Keep Your Man

Linda — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 16:08:00 +0000

The writing is pretty hard to read in the second ad, but it closes with:
“I wouldn’t be satisfied now with salt, soda or other homemade solutions! Not with “Lysol,” a proved germ killer that cleanses so gently yet so thoroughly. It’s easy to use and economical.”…