Tag Archives: impressions
A non-traditional Christmas tale, which still might have a moral.
She had been dating him since college let out for the summer. She was calling him the summer boyfriend, the guy who was friends with her girlfriend’s boyfriend, a guy her own sister used to have the hots for. Convenience and revenge made for an interesting coupling.
He repaired speedboats, played basketball and could dance- well. For those things she could forgive his moodiness, his mumbling, his desire to spend more time with the guys than her. Summer turned to Fall, and they were still an item. She went to his family functions, hung out at his house, teased his …
Video Game as Poetry
download here:
–Passage_v3_Windows.exe
–Passage_v3_MacOSX.dmg
control notes:
- Press any button (or key) to start the game.
- Use left analog stick (or arrow keys) to move character (up, down, left, right).
- F (on keyboard) to toggle fullscreen mode.
- B (on keyboard) to adjust screen blow-up factor.
- Q or ESC (on keyboard) to quit.
Spend 5 minutes in this game and you will probably cry. You may begin to understand the pull a video game can have on a child, on a lonely adult, on a teenager in college.
Or you may just think it is a silly waste of time, …
Let's play a game. "If I had an assistant…"
I’d ask her to make me a dentist appointment at the new dentist’s office, on a day I won’t be able to cancel. Ditto the chiropractor, waxer, and massage therapist.
I’d hand off the gift wrapping duties and send her to the post office.
I’s ask her to complete all the tasks on the chalkboard, or find someone who could.
If I had an assistant…
she would have to be very energetic.
she would eagerly return my emails, update my website, pull all my accounting files and balance my checkbook, while folding the laundry and catching up with my mother …
Ho. Ho. Hammacher Schlemmer. Ho.
You can’t say it without smiling, and you can’t say it properly after a few Friday afternoon cocktails. (I know, but it’s Friday afternoon somewhere, and besides it sounded much better than Thursday morning tequila shots.)
Scanning through this classic Christmas catalog that claims:
Offering the Best, the Only and the Unexpected for 160 years
I found lots of potential gifts for my friends and family from a fish finding watch, a hands free video camera, a voice controlled ipod controller and a perfect martini maker to this bug vacuum.
If we still had little ones to buy for I …
Some people write novels in November. I blog shoes. And life.
I bought these shoes so long ago, in a place I used to live, thinking that A. they were a good deal and that B. I would actually wear them.
Yes. I know. I am neither an elderly Grandpa in Miami nor a Chinese factory worker. so, what was I thinking? idk
Today, I am equally confused. Have you ever wanted someone to just TELL you what to do?
I am the TELLER in my house.
Wear this. Eat his. Do that. And then do that. Look, do it like this. Here, let me show you. Wait. We aren’t watching …
Anastasia wants to come to America and kill somebody.
Probably her new husband.
We all get those odd spam emails from foreign countries. They want to give us money, they want us to give them money They want to be pen pals. they want to help us save money on penis enhancing pills that we don’t even take. They want us to support wars, heal the sick and generally behave as if we are much more godly than you and I know to be true.
But this morning I had to laugh- an email from foxracer yielded this information:
Hello man my new friend!
I understand, that you do …
Why do you blog?
It‘s not bad enough that we judge ourselves every time we look in a mirror, see ourselves in a photo, hear our out-going message on the voicemail… now we have opened ourselves up to a blogosphere that may not accept us.
They don’t understand, we whine. They didn’t get the joke. I stink at this. Who reads this shit anyway? Why does it matter? What am I supposed to say? Why do I have so many hits and so few comments? Who did I offend now?
I hear all of this from new bloggers and sometimes from people who …
My Great Idea for a New Company: PAID TO WAIT
Instead of ruining your day waiting for the cable guy, the phone installer, the pest treatment specialist, the painters, the mechanic, the plumber, the window washer, house cleaner, babysitter, your parents on the 5 pm Delta flight…
May I suggest the services of a PAID WAITER?
Not the kind who serve you dinner or lunch, because those are servers who are erroneously called “waiters”… unless you count their waiting around for you to pay your bill and leave.
No, this WAITING service would be provided by a patient, soft-spoken, agreeable, insured and bonded individual. No need to reschedule your day, …
What you see during Olympics is not really what you get.
I can say this because I live in Atlanta, and I know when the Olympics were here, there was no pollution and no traffic.
This is a picture of Chinese soldiers removing huge amounts of algae from a beach near the Olympics Sailing Centre in Qingdao where the clean-up pressure is on.
How many people will watch the China Olympics on TV and say, “That looks nice. We should add Qingdao to our travel plans next summer, dear.”
I wonder how long it will take to regrow all that algae?…
Accountability
As parents, we try to teach it. As kids we tried to avoid it. But, there is no escape. Even on a lazy summer day you are still accountable to something, to someone. From the SPF in your sunscreen to the amount of skin you expose at the pool, from the hours you wander through an air-conditioned mall to the hours you have managed to avoid folding the laundry.
Once, I thought I’d live an unaccountable life. I quit my job, married a man who loved me unconditionally. He worked all day, rarely phoned home and then began to travel- …
